Lives Touched

I go through life figuring people can take me or leave me.

I likewise go through life figuring people will take me or leave me.

I don't have some grand conception of the effect I have on others' lives. Ask me why and I'd say because that would be egotistical.

So I live my life. I listen. I respond. I give my 2 cents or keep it to myself.

I survive.

But a conversation this morning made me realize what a profound effect I / me / this thing that God brought to life from dust / the non-egotistical me has on other people. That sounds really vain and for that I apologize. But I mean it in the egoless / we are all part of the same vessel / all we do is breathe air into this body, spirit, mind that God gave us / my realization should be your realization as well kinda way.

The person I was talking to this morning does not 'need' me by any worldly standards. He is married to a beautiful woman, has two perfect kids, is successful at his career (and is by no means physically attracted to me lest that seem where this is going). But this morning he said something that made me stop, take a deep breath, and realize that I actually matter to him, and effect his life.

Me? A leader for this man who has it together, is more experienced? Who am I that God would put me in such a role?

More importantly, Why is this a surprise to me?

One of my favourite passages is from Marianne Williamson's A Return to Love.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us, it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we’re liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

There is nothing enlightened about me - or you - not looking around and asking ourselves, who in this life - that I don't even realize, recognize, or see - am I effecting just by being me? What does it mean for me to let my light shine for them?

I don't have the answer today. I'm going to chew on it and repost tomorrow.